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Today, we will be demystifying the topic, how to maximize your teen years effectively. This series will be a thoroughly exhaustive teaching (broken down into parts) on how to make the most of your teen years and live happily.
I made a video for those who prefer to watch. Here it is,
But if you’d like to read, let’s dive right into it.
The teenage years can be a very confusing time of life. I mean, the constant pressure and the pull of this hyperconnected society tends to magnify the angst, the anxiety, the worries, and the fears that you go through as a teenager.
Understanding the changes going on- within and outside the body while trying to get a grasp on your emotions can make the teenage years a challenging time of life.
Most teens feel misunderstood and unheard, as their feelings are mostly seen as trivial. From dealing with bullying and insecurities, to fending off abusers, molesters, and betrayals; from trying to live without harassment, and sometimes, even trying to run away from pedophiles, to dealing with internal and external confusion of trying to comprehend the things happening within and around them, coupled with the need to be seen, heard, and loved, being a teenager today is not easy. Being a Christian teenager is even more challenging in today’s world.
Every day, teens face constant pressure from peers and from the environment to live a certain way and fit into a specific mold. For most teens out there, it’s hard to know where to turn for help. Most often, teens end up having to figure things out for themselves without guidance.
One of the biggest challenges teenagers and youths go through is Identity crisis. That innate desire to find yourself, in a bid to answer the questions: Who am I, What do I like to do, What is my purpose, Who has God ordained me to be, What is the right orientation to have about life? And other such questions.
While trying to find answers to these life-purpose questions, teenagers are required to conform to societal standards and expectations of what they should be. All of these can be overwhelming and can be a bit too much for anyone.
The teen years are, therefore, a critical and crucial period that sets the pace for most of your life and largely influences what your life becomes.
It is important to set this period right as it could save you from making costly mistakes or bad decisions that you could regret for life.
In this post, I’ll be introducing and sharing with you three ways to make the most of your teenage years, especially as a Christian.
Many teenagers, even Christian teens, do not understand what being a Christian is really about. The ideas some teens have about Christians is that they go to church, set unrealistic moral standards, and judge others. While there are people who live the Christian life wrong, it doesn’t take away from the fact that Christianity is God’s way of life for us. It is a way of living that should depict deep love for the things of God, compassion for others, and love for ourselves. Understanding who God is and what Jesus represents to us makes Christianity worthwhile. This understanding enables us to build our relationship with Him.
Building a relationship with Jesus is personal. You may not have a personal relationship with Jesus, even if you are being raised in Christian homes. A relationship with God cannot be built through your pastor; neither can it be built through your Bible teacher or even your parents. It has to be you making up your mind to know Him, learn of Him from the Bible, and understanding more through the everyday testimonies that He brings your way.
Let me tell you an instance. When I was still very young, I think between ages six and eight, I remember returning home from school one day, and for some reason, the door to our kitchen was locked. It had jammed itself, and no one could open it. My mom tried so hard, my older brothers, everybody tried, but it wouldn’t open. I remember my older brother saying, “well, we’ve tried everything we can, and this door just wouldn’t open. We’ve pushed, we’ve pulled, we’ve tried, we’ve used the key, we’ve done everything, and this door still wouldn’t open,” and he said, “let us pray about it.” I remember us holding hands to pray; I remember my older brother praying, “Lord, we’re tired, we need to eat, please, let this door open.” Lo and behold, I lie not, we turned the knob of this door, and this door that had taken almost 30 minutes to work open, opened on its own accord. As little as that experience was, it etched itself in my memory. As I grew older, this little experience often reminded me that God is faithful. He answers prayers, no matter how small or insignificant, I think those prayers are. This testimony helped; it played a part in my getting to know God and helped my passion in getting to know the Lord more.
BENEFITS OF BUILDING A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS
Teenagers bear a lot of pressures and have a lot of anxieties – anxieties mostly about the future. The stress most teens experience is quite high. I mean, most teens don’t know how to make the right friendships and how to build the right connections. Peer pressure, pop culture, and other conflicting external influences are usually considered the final authority on any subject. The contradictory messages and advice teens receive from the different influences make the teenage years a stressful period.
The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 15:33, “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.'” Moreso, in this day and age, having the right friendships is vital. “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” Proverbs 13:20.
Your relationship with Jesus keeps you at peace. Psalms 37:23 says that “The LORD orders the steps of a good man, and He delights in his way.” Who is this good man? The good man is the person who has a relationship with Jesus. He lives according to His Word, obeys Him, talks to Him every day, and takes steps to make sure his life reflects God’s love. God delights – God is interested, and He is committed to all that concerns you, even making friends. In these last days that Jesus prophesied, there are a lot of “unfriendly” friends around. People who come as friends but are wolves in sheep’s clothing, looking for susceptible people to deceive or to destroy. Now more than ever, it is imperative that you trust God to guide you to the right friendships, those who would help your destiny positively.
Proverbs 3: 5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge Him in all of your ways, and He shall direct your path.” This verse tells us to be vulnerable to God, telling Him, “Lord, I acknowledge You as God, and I know that You will bring the right people to help me get to where I ought to be in destiny.” We all need to have good relationships with others, some godly close-knit friends-family relationships, especially as teenagers. We must have the right friends around us. The people whose values, ideas, and ideologies align with what God says about any subject. Much more important, however, is that we become the right friends who build others up and not tear them down, and live to please God always.
He helps you deal with the Fear of failure.
Doing the wrong things or making poor choices that can make you lose your friends, your good relationship and standing with your parents, or fail at school are things that you fear as a teen. You don’t want to make mistakes, neither do you want to be seen negatively, but God is the One to turn to; He is eager to help you handle all of your feelings and thoughts and wants to help you walk through them.
Growing up, I had a lot of friends who tried to be what they were not. For a time, I also tried to be what I was not, especially at my pre-teens and early teenage age, between 10 and 11. I pretended to be someone I was not to my friends back then because I did not want my friends to look down on me, and I didn’t want them to stop talking to me. (Thank God for deliverance from all such warped thought patterns). This is one of the things that I dealt with growing up, and you may be going through the same right now. The key to living free is trusting God to help you with these situations. Trust Him for daily wisdom to handle your inferiority complex and
relationships appropriately. Especially now in your teenage years – a time when your fundamental life values are actively taking shape. When you trust God to help you get rid of the destructive thought patterns, and you allow the Word of God to dwell richly in you, He gives you the right mindset to handle all your struggles and challenges.
Within a short time, you find that you are not afraid of losing friends anymore. Why? Your values and beliefs are changing and are being built on the Rock. As such, you naturally attract people of like minds and values to yourself who end up being the right and godly friends you need. He will bring the right friends around you, that love you just the way you are, for who you are, for what you have (talking about your person), and not for what you don’t have and challenge you to be better in all you do.
God will give you the wisdom you need when you ask – the wisdom to handle your emotions and feelings, know what to do per time, and give answers of peace as occasion demands. He will give you the insight you need to handle yourself such that you do not paint a picture of what you’re not, or blatantly lie about being someone you are not. In James 1:5, the Bible says, “if you lack wisdom, you should ask God who gives generously who gives generously to all without finding fault, and will be given to you.” God will give you the wisdom you need to handle every part of your life, including the feeling of failure or the fear of failure. This is another reason why it’s essential that in your teenage years, you build a relationship with God.
God keeps your mind in perfect peace.
He will keep your mind in perfect peace, giving no room to fear so that Fear doesn’t make you timid or cause you to make costly mistakes. In Philippians 4:6-7, the Bible says, “Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your request to God and the peace of God which passes all understanding will guide your hearts and mind in Christ Jesus.” Build a relationship with Jesus to enjoy perfect peace because there is so much out there that could be intimidating and terrifying to you. Maybe you can’t handle criticism so much. The fear of being criticized or bashed, being laughed at, or being looked down on terrifies you, and causes you to act in a manner unbefitting a child of God. But when your heart is continuously on Jesus, He gives you perfect peace and understanding to handle this unique phase of your life. “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” Isaiah 26:3.
He helps you handle the pains you have suffered so that you can enjoy happiness and the goodness He has prepared for you.
You may have suffered pains, bear scars, or suffered one form of abuse or the other that has brought you to the point of loneliness, made you withdraw, and messed up your self-esteem. You may have gone through horrifying events that have put you in a bad space emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. And (for many teens), you’re carrying a burden, one whose weight you are crumbling beneath. Keeping all of this burden to yourself or trying to carry it alone is very toxic. I recommend talking to a professional – a psychologist, therapist, or someone. Recognize that lasting healing comes from Jesus. In Matthew 11:28, the Bible says, “Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.'” When you are tired from pulling all of life’s weight by yourself, bullying others and being bullied, being rejected, molested, and abused, and you are burdened with guilt and shame, He says, “Come unto Me and I will give you rest.” This is Jesus’ promise to you.
When you build and pursue a relationship with Him and approach Him as a friend, your brother, your Lord and Savior, master, and Healer, you will find deep-rooted joy and happiness. You also find that gradually, one after the other, God peels away every cover of shame, rejection, pain, and hurt from you. Jeremiah 31:25 says, “For I will refresh the weary soul and replenish all who are weak.” We gain so much knowing Jesus.
Psalm 16:11 says, “You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” When you build a relationship with Him, He shows you a better way of living. He will teach you the healthiest way to heal and how to be happy. The Bible says that in His presence is fullness of joy, and at His right hand, there are pleasures forever. When you spend time with Him and build a relationship with Him, He is ever with you, and then your joy is complete. He helps you to heal wholly and gradually, and it’s not just surface or temporary healing; it’s total and deep-rooted joy, which you’re not faking. It’s going to stream from within, and you would have your healing – complete healing.
Jesus wants to be your friend.
Paraphrasing Proverbs 18:24, the Bible says, “He [Jesus] is that Friend who sticks closer than a brother.” He promises to keep you from evil people, bullies, and abusers if you obey His leading and promptings. Deuteronomy 31:6 says, “Be strong and courageous; do not be afraid or terrified of them, for it is the LORD your GOD who goes with you; and He will never leave you nor forsake you.” He promises to guide you on your journey in life. Deuteronomy 31:8 says, “It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Jesus also promises to help you. In Isaiah 41:10, He says, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” He wants to be your friend. He is eager to be everything for you. He wants to be the most important person in your life, be there at the time of your need, take care of your pain and care for you. 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.” He is indeed a friend that you can truly count on. Psalms 46:1 says, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in time of trouble.”
These are the beautiful reasons why you should have a relationship with Jesus. I’ll be stopping here for now. In the next post, we’ll see how to build a relationship with Jesus.
If you’re in you are a teen, or a youth, and you’re going through a trying time at this moment, and you need someone to talk to or someone to pray with you, please send me a DM on Instagram or Twitter @anetaoladejo. As you reach out, I pray God gives you an answer of peace.
Thank you so much for reading this post. God bless you. See you in the next post.
