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Today’s topic is an exciting one and an all too important one also. It’s needless to say that proper child upbringing benefits not only the parents but the society at large. Experts say that instilling desired qualities in our children should begin from a young age, particularly before age seven.
If you’d like to watch a video on this topic, please watch the one below.
If you’d rather read, let’s dive right in.
I listened to Dr. Bruce Lipton’s powerful exposition on The Power of the Subconscious Mind recently, and by my understanding of it, the first seven years of a child’s life can be likened to the state of hypnosis. In this state, the child is like a recorder programmed to take in everything he sees, hears, and whatever he is taught to do. After the seventh year, everything the child begins to manifest is the things that have been prerecorded in the first seven years of his life. Before age seven is the best time to lay a good foundation that will take him/her throughout their life, but if the child is over seven, you have to work to ensure a new program (that is, teaching the child good manners) is written in his/her subconscious.
Teach your children to say, “Thank you.”
Being taught to say these two words, when appropriate, is essential because it puts a child in a place of favor. When a child has good manners, the child becomes liked by all, appears more mature than most of the other children in his/her age group, and it tends to open doors for the child. The child also learns to take some measure of responsibility for the things that he/she is given. Teach your children to appreciate you as their Parent and also appreciate their teachers, siblings, friends, and others outside the family. Sometimes, familiarity makes us take those closest to us for granted. But, watch out for these things and teach your children to be grateful for whatever they receive – material things, an act of service, or a piece of advice.
Teach your children to say, “Excuse me.”
Instead of cutting in and interrupting others as children are wont to do, courtesy demands that we teach them patience to wait their turn or be excused if they have to interrupt. It shows how polite a person is when you can excuse yourself instead of rudely interrupting others. Teach your children to say ‘excuse me’ to playmates, siblings, adults, family members, and everyone around them, especially when they have to interrupt a conversation or in other scenarios where words like this should be used. If we as parents don’t take the time to teach them and correct these things, it’ll grow into becoming an annoying habit. Let’s not wait and hope that society would teach them; they may learn very harshly out there. Whatever behaviors or habits are permitted within the home is what our children manifest outside the home.
Teach your children to apologize sincerely and not just say the “I’m sorrys.”
There is a big difference between saying sorry and apologizing, that is, being remorseful. There is nothing more infuriating than the attitude of someone who doesn’t feel apologetic about the hurt they have inflicted on others.
How do you teach your children to apologize properly? You could tell a child, “you did this, what would you say?” and he/she might say I am sorry, but actually, he/she is not apologizing, and if a child doesn’t feel any sense of remorse, the tendency to repeat that wrongdoing is very high. Children pick up fast! They learn to say a specific word to escape any form of disciplinary measures for their misconduct. Sometimes, they tell you what you want to hear because they want to end the uncomfortable conversation as fast as possible.
What we aim to teach our kids is sincerity in all they do, including showing concern and apologizing for wrongs. When a child comes to you or his sibling to say his I’m sorrys, ask him, “what are you sorry for?” Watch out for his reply; if he tells you, “mom, I’m sorry that I broke the tumbler because I was playing with it when you asked me not to,” then that is an apology. It means your baby has grown and is learning to take responsibility for his actions. The probability of your child not repeating his wrong is higher. So we teach our kids to be sincere in their apologies rather than just saying the I’m sorrys to end the conversation. For example, if my son hits or does something to his younger sister, and she reports to me about it, I tell him to apologize to his sister, no matter how bad he feels about it already. I ask him to apologize by saying, “I’m sorry for hitting you.” He is learning to take responsibility so that next time, he knows that hitting is not right, and there is a lesser probability of doing it again.
Teach your children to say “please” every time it needs to be said.
This one word makes a huge difference in how things are perceived. It makes a big difference in how questions are asked and how requests are made. A child that is quick to make demands without showing the least courtesy is bound to be disappointed, especially when he makes demands of outsiders. It is polite to say, “may I have a glass of water, please?” instead of merely demanding for water as in “give me,” or “I need water.” You have to teach your children to say please, and refrain things from them when they do not add the word “please” and let them be sincere about it. When they are talking to their siblings, their friends, adults, and people around them, if you instill this in them now, it will be a part of them as they grow, and in today’s society, where there are so many lost values, you will see that your children will stand out.
As godly parents, raising our children to be responsible adults in society is our primary goal. Whatever we instill in them today, particularly when they are young, is what shows forth as they grow.
